Blog 12: The Gap Between Heartbreak And Healthy Love

November 23, 2025•3 min read

THE GAP BETWEEN HEARTBREAK AND HEALTHY LOVE

Ever felt like you’re not broken anymore… but not exactly free either? That weird space between heartbreak and healing is what my guest, Cody from Mind Brain Body Lab, calls the gap. And honestly - it’s one of the most important (and misunderstood) seasons of your life.

Because the truth is, most people rush through the gap. They distract themselves, start dating too soon, or jump into another relationship to avoid being alone. But the gap isn’t punishment. It’s the preparation.

It’s the bridge between who you were in that last relationship and who you’re becoming next.

The Science of Healing After Heartbreak

Cody explains that your brain doesn’t just feel a breakup — it chemically reacts to it.

When you lose someone you’re attached to, your brain experiences withdrawal, similar to detoxing from a drug. That’s why heartbreak feels like you’re going insane — you actually are, biochemically.

He says most people don’t realize they’re addicted to the cycle — the highs, the dopamine hits, the emotional rollercoaster. It’s not just love you’re missing; it’s the chemistry.

But here’s the good news: you can rewire it.

Healing starts when you stop chasing old emotional patterns and start giving your nervous system new experiences of safety, stability, and peace.

Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship

Your brain is a prediction machine — it doesn’t see the world as it is, it sees it as it expects it to be.

So if you grew up believing love meant chaos or inconsistency, your brain keeps seeking that because it feels familiar.

That’s why awareness matters. You can’t change what you can’t see. Cody teaches his clients to look at their triggers, patterns, and inner voices — the “parts” that show up in moments of fear, anxiety, or insecurity. Once you start noticing those parts, you can finally heal them.

Solitude vs Isolation

We also talked about the difference between solitude and isolation — and it’s huge.

Isolation says, “I don’t need anyone.”

Solitude says, “I’m learning to be with myself.”

Solitude builds strength, clarity, and emotional depth. It’s where you learn how to fill your own cup. But prolonged isolation can stunt your growth, because healing doesn’t happen in isolation — it happens in connection.

So don’t cut the world off. Heal in community. Get around healthy people. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, and environments that breathe life back into you.

Emotional Safety and Real Intimacy One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:28

Cody also dropped gold on what emotional safety really means.

If you’re a woman — safety isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. It’s knowing you can express yourself without being dismissed, “fixed,” or told you’re overreacting.

If you’re a man — emotional depth doesn’t mean weakness. It means you’re strong enough to be honest about what’s going on inside.

Emotional safety happens when both people bring calm, curiosity, and compassion to the table — not criticism and control.

Final Takeaway: The Gap Is Sacred

Whether you call it the gap, the bridge, or the season of solitude — this space matters.

It’s where you learn to stop chasing love and start becoming love.

It’s where you stop trying to get chosen and start choosing yourself.

So don’t rush it. Sit in it. Let God use it. Because the person you’re becoming in the gap is the one who’s ready for the love you’ve been praying for.